MISSION
by Donatanic
Summary: This story is totally AU, Steve and Danny are married and Steve has to go away for a classified mission; will they be able to handle the situation?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** **Sadly I don't own them. I wish I did****. I own nothing but I do love this show so very much that I can't stay away.**

**Hi everybody, I'm here again, this time with a long story; it's entirely AU, Steve and Danny are married and Steve have to go away for a classified mission. I hope you enjoy it and I apologize again here and now for my mistakes because English isn't my first language and I haven't a beta for my story. Any review is very welcome.**

**M****ISSION**

**Chapter 1**

After their marriage not much had changed, on the contrary practically nothing. They lived together as before, working together as before, Grace was with them two weekends per month as before. The only difference was their awareness of being now a real family. Not that it wasn't so, but now it was also legal and wasn't just an achievement. Certainly, not everyone was a genius, in the HPD there were still dinosaurs that were sarcastic about them, but they didn't care, they loved each other, they didn't hurt anyone and that was enough.

And everything was perfect. Well, perfect for their standards. In fact, they had never discussed as much as in that last period, but had never done so much love. Any excuse was good to end up in bed. Danny thought they looked like two teenagers in heat, and every time he pointed that out to Steve, he laughed and the sound of his laughter filled his heart. Because it wasn't easy to hear Steve really laugh. There seemed to be always a shadow in his eyes, as if he expected that everything that had happened in the past and kept buried inside him, sooner or later jump out and attack him.

When Steve had received that phone call was a Friday night. They had just returned home after a hard day at the end of a heavy week. Danny believed that it wasn't possible to feel more tired than that, and had fallen asleep in the car on the way from the headquarters to their home. On the way they stopped to get two pizzas, none of them wanted to cook.  
Then Steve had answered the phone and everything had changed.

Danny had seen him suddenly stiffen at the sight of the ID, exit through the back door and go towards the ocean. He knew immediately that something was wrong. That was the place where Steve took refuge when things got complicated, and he wanted and had to find a solution. He had been watching him from the porch until had seen him put the phone in his pocket. He had seen him stand still for a time that seemed endless, and it was a bad sign, it meant that maybe the solution was not there. Then, finally, he had seen him turn around and go back. He stopped in front of him without speaking. What he had read in his eyes made a thrill of inexplicable fear rise inside himself.

"What happened?" he asked.

"I have to leave" said Steve like he was paralyzed, staring at him.

"Leave? to go where?"

"I can't tell you Danny ... is classified ..." he murmured.

"But ... when? And how long will you be gone?"

"Monday. I don't know how may time I'll be away, depending on the mission ... "

Suddenly Danny had turned around and had returned into the house. Steve was in the reserves, they could bring him back any time, it's a possibility that could not be ignored. But it couldn't be true. No, absolutely not. It was Friday night. Monday was after only two days ... Two days and Steve would have gone somewhere, doing who knows what and for who knows how long. And who knows if he would be back ... the very idea gave him nausea and he rushed to the bathroom closing in.

Steve ran after him and stood behind the door.

"Danny! Please ... now I come in, right?" and, without waiting for an answer, flung it open.

He found Danny with his elbows on the sink.

"Danny ..." he whispered, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Danny broke free and went into the living room and started to walk back and forth.

"Why? Why you? There is no one else in the reserve able to do what you're supposed to do? You're really the only one?"

He had raised his voice and was the panic that making him to act like that, he knew, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't lose Steve, not now that they were finally married, he couldn't, no, no, no ...

Steve grabbed him by the arms and stood in front of him.

"Danny listen to me. We both knew that could happen. I'm in the reserve, now are more than two years that I was recall and I was almost convinced that it would never happen again but it was not so. I wouldn't even go. Just the thought to stay away for God knows how long it's already killing me. But I can't choose. I am a Navy SEAL. I have to go. Look at me Danny, please, don't make it even more difficult than it already is ... "

Danny looked up, stared into Steve's eyes and saw that Steve was just as desperate as he was.

It was like that all the anger he had heard up to that time had slipped away from his soul and leaned his forehead against Steve's chest, who held him in his arms.

Since that moment, both lived those last two days as in a limbo. It was as if everything around them come wrapped in a blanket of fog. The world doesn't really exist, there were only the two of them, their bodies, their minds and their hearts.

The last night, in bed, they were embracing in the dark, with only the light of the full moon that illuminated the room, entering through the open windows, after having made love intensely, for hours. Danny was holding him tightly, as if Steve were to disappear at any moment and he thought he really was. The next day he would be gone somewhere, could not tell him, he even know it yet, and who knows when and if he could hear his voice again.

"Steve ..." he murmured.

"Mmm…"

"You think you can call me? Or write to me? Or maybe send me an e-mail?"

Steve sighed.

"I don't know Danny. It will be difficult. The last time we couldn't talk to anyone for months. If I can I will for sure ... but I don't know. I feel ... "and he paused, his voice was breaking.

Danny propped himself up on one elbow, looked at him and saw that look in his eyes, a look that he didn't see since they had returned from North Korea. Like that last time, he looked so lost. Danny put his hand on Steve's cheek and, with his thumb, wiped away the single tear that fell on his face.

"Talk to me Steve, talk to me ..."

Steve closed his eyes for a moment, leaning back against the headboard and then began to speak softly.

"When I was in Coronado, pause's moments between one mission and the other, never passed. We trained constantly to make sure we were ready, but what we all expected was the moment when we should have been used somewhere. And when the time came ... it was normal to prepare the bag and go. There was nothing to get really away from, nothing that I was really bonded. I had only my friends and they would come with me, so that was fine. But it's different now. Now everything is changed. Now that I finally have something that I care about is damn difficult to prepare the bag and leave ..." and turned to Danny, burying his face in his neck.

"The thought of going away… it's like something inside me is breaking ... – he continued - it hurts so much ... I don't know how to do this Danny ...".

Danny didn't say anything, he seemed to have some barbed wire in his throat. And he just hugged him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 **

That Monday morning's dawn found them both awake, and clung almost in the same position as the night before. They felt numb but dove into the routine which saw them dress up and have breakfast, as if it were an ordinary day. The difference was that bag near the door, that hung over them like a symbol of their uncertain future.

At the airport they were all there. Steve wanted to go alone, it was almost impossible for him to say goodbye, but Danny didn't want to listen to any reason. He had hoped, by doing so, to lighten the mood, so the whole team was there, and Grace that didn't want to leave his hand. Also Kamekona stood by his side.

Steve knelt down to be at the same height as the little girl and took her in his arms.

"Grace, you have to make me a promise," he whispered in her ear as he held her to himself.

"What Steve?"

"Can You keep an eye on Danno for me? I don't want that he make a mess while I'm gone".

Grace pulled away from him and looked at him seriously.

"Okay, trust me, I'll keep an eye on him. But you also have to make me a promise ... ".

"Of course, Grace, tell me."

"Can you get back to me soon?" she asked while her chin began to tremble as a tear ran down her cheek.

"I'll be back as soon as possible" he replied hugging her back and closing his eyes to stem the emotion that threatened to get the better of him.

Danny had to look away from the two of them and take a deep breath to stop the tears that had filled his eyes. He didn't want to be seen crying by his daughter, it was already bad enough.

"Come on Grace - said Kono, because she understood Danny's mood and took the girl by the hand - let's go get a shaved ice" she turned to Steve who in the meantime was raised, hugged him tight and, after Grace was embraced him again, she went away with her.  
It was then the turn of Kamekona and Chin, until only Danny, who by then was a little back together again, stayed with him.

They continued to stare silently, facing each other, both totally overwhelmed with anxiety as the time to leave was ever closer. When the speaker made the last call for the flight line that would lead Steve in Los Angeles - from there the Navy would send someone to take him to Coronado - at the same time they made a step toward each other and hugged each other desperately.

"I have to go" muttered Steve reluctantly.

"I know," Danny said, holding him tightly.

"Don't do anything that I wouldn't do myself - he whispered in his ear - and try to come back in one piece" he said pulling away from him.

Steve nodded but couldn't speak, the node in his throat prevented him. He picked up his bag and headed for boarding without looking back.

He almost didn't notice that they were landing in Los Angeles. During the flight he had been staring at the sky out of the porthole, but saw nothing, as if he was in a trance. He couldn't think of anything else that Danny, he saw his face before his eyes with that terrifies gaze that he tried unsuccessfully to hide, again and again. The hostess voice, who invited him to get off of the plane, shook him from his thoughts.

Just when he set a foot on the ground, all speed picked up and, in a short, he found himself in Coronado. The familiarity of the environment was able to calm him down a bit, and soon he found himself in his automatically usual routine, almost as if he had never gone.

He spent ten days awakening at dawn and training courses, lunches and dinners at the officers mess, briefing with his superiors and controlling equipment. Do all mechanically and with meticulous precision was the only way he knew to move on. On the eleventh day he received the destination: the Middle East.

That night he could finally call home. He dialed the number with trembling hands and Danny answered on the second ring.

"Hello"

"Danny ..."

"Steve! Steve it's you?"

"Hi ..." he paused closing his eyes. Hear Danny's voice caused him an unimaginable emotion. He was alone in the hallway, and slowly slid to the floor, his back against the wall. With one hand he covered his face and began to cry silently, not wanting Danny to notice.

"Steve, where are you? Are you okay?"

"I'm still in Coronado and yes, Danny, I'm fine," he whispered, his voice a little waver.

"I wanted to hear your voice ... – he continued - and are you okay? And Grace? And the others?"

"Steve ... I'm fine. The others are doing well. Grace made you practically a drawing a day and want them all hang on the refrigerator. I explained that if it goes on like this, we will need one of industrial proportions. Then she told me to ask you - when you phoned - if she could hang them on the house's walls. I told her that I would have asked you, and what is your answer? Can we? "Danny concluded trying to cheer him up.

Steve smiled to himself, that was his Danny, what he was able to do, to make him forget where he was and the only thing he had in his mind now was his smiling face and Grace, focused while she's drawing .

"Of course you can, let her do it, I want them all hanging on for when I return"

"... And when you come back? ..." He heard Danny's voice tremble while he asked.

"I do not know Danny, we'll leave tomorrow morning ..."

"Tomorrow morning? And to where? ... no sorry, sorry if I asked you, I know you cannot tell me ... "

There was a moment of silence.

"I miss you Danny, so badly ..." Steve whispered, stifling a sob, "so badly ..."

"Me too babe, me too ..." Danny whispered.

More silence.

"I have to go Danny ..."

"No, wait ... do you think you can call me back?"

"I do not know. I love you Danny ... "

"I love you too, Steve"

Then nothing.

And Danny stood there in the darkness of the room, staring into the space in front of him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The first month went by without any news from Steve. Danny said that if no one called him, it meant that everything was all right, that Steve was all right. He was his next of kin and he would be the first to be alerted if there were '_problems_'. He couldn't think of any other word, it was too difficult.

At work the was trying to act normal, he was always professional and did everything by the rules: nothing out of the ordinary. The difficulty came in the evening when he came home and the house was empty. He missed his squabbles with Steve, those stupid fake fights that enlivened their evenings, ending always with making peace and then to bed. It was a game between them. Now there was too much silence and, sometimes, he couldn't bear it. In those moments he went out on the beach and sat on one of the chairs with a beer. Sure Chin and Kono tried to stay with him to keep him company as much as possible, but in the end they too went to their home and he was left alone. Alone with his thoughts.

That evening, in particular, was very harsh.  
He was in the car, driving home, listening to the radio. Suddenly broadcasts were interrupted for a special news bulletin. There was a terrorist attack in Afghanistan. An helicopter with 33 Seal had fallen, hit by a missile. They were all dead. They still didn't know the names of the victims and Danny almost got a stroke. He didn't know where Steve was, if there in Afghanistan or somewhere else in the world, but those deaths were Seal, like him. He had had to stop at the roadside because his vision blurred and the panic almost prevented him from continuing to breathe. He rested his head on the steering wheel and had realized that he had his heart in his throat when the roar in his ears had become unbearable.

Somehow he managed to get home. He had entered and had looked around, seeing nothing. He went to the couch and sat down. He turned on the TV and zap through the channels, until he found a station that was broadcasting a special report on the incident. There were already pictures, he could see the helicopter, a huge Chinook, on the ground, both rotors destroyed and all burned around. And those bodies, covered with white sheets. He seemed to be mesmerized by what he saw, he couldn't look away. His cell phone rang just then and it had seemed that his heart would stop. Then, as if in a trance, he replied.

"Williams," he whispered.

"Danny! Where are you? ".

"Chin, Chin ... ... Ah, it's you ..." he murmured with a sigh of relief.

"Where are you brah?"

"At home ... I'm home ... I… Chin ..."

"I'm on my way, I'll be there in ten".

Also Chin had heard the news. He had done him no more questions, he immediately realized what was happening and had arrived within ten minutes.  
He had realized that Danny needed someone, he couldn't be alone, he needed someone to reassure him, someone to help him to overcome those hours. If the phone rang, he didn't want him to be alone. He had seen the relationship between Steve and Danny grow up and reach where they were now, he couldn't even imagine what would happen if one of them were dead. It might have happened, he knew. The damn phone would ring and he was sure that then the whole world would be turned upside down and maybe Danny would not be able to straighten it out. Chin did not believe that also him could be so scared.

They spent the whole night together, awake talking about Steve. Chin stayed with Danny, sitting on the couch beside him, looking for ways to lighten the mood. Danny was totally out of himself. Just at dawn he began to calm down. The phone was silent and remained like this, if there was a '_problem_' someone would have already warned them, then it meant that Steve was not on that chopper, he was fine. The relief that Danny felt seemed almost inconceivable, and he thought that another night like that, would have seriously affected his life expectancy.

Steve moved, trying to find a more comfortable position, but it was hard on that rough ground. When he seemed to have succeeded, he tried to fall asleep but sleep didn't come. He opened his eyes and looked at the sky. The darkness was complete and allowed him to see clearly the stars. Billions and billions of stars. It was cold at night and he hated the cold. Automatically he thought of home, the warm evenings spent on the beach with Danny. He missed him so much that whenever he thought of him, he felt a pain in the center of his chest, which seemed to cut up him in two.

It had been over three months since he had left and the mission seemed endless. They destroyed a cell and suddenly another was born; it all seemed like a cruel joke that was repeated endlessly and he was tired. Tired of this life that was no longer his. Tired of sleeping on the ground three hours at night. Tired of eating cans. Tired of not being able to wash when he wanted to. Above all, he was tired of killing, see wounded comrades, he was tired of the dead, to collect medals of recognition to take to the base. He had lost men, men who were someone's son, someone's brother, someone's parents. He couldn't think about it without getting sick. There was a time when this was his job and he did it very well, perhaps because he didn't care that much what would happen and, perhaps, no one cared what would happen to him. Now everything was different, his life was different. Now there was Danny, there was Grace, there was a house to go home, there was a family, a _ohana_ waiting for him and that he needed desperately.

A hand shook him strongly and Steve opened his eyes, suddenly wide awake.

"Captain, there is a radio call for you" said private Davenport.

Steve stood up and walked to the radio. The orders were changed. Intelligence had indicated that the target was moving at that time and was approaching their location. They would have to intercept and capture as many enemies as possible. Steve returned to his men and told them what was going to happen. The information which was available was that the target was composed of a group of not more than ten men on one truck, there shouldn't be any problem.

He positioned his men at strategic points, and then they sat down to wait. The waiting wasn't long. After less than one hour from radio contact, they heard the truck approaching on the road. Steve thought that there was something wrong, the noise was too loud, couldn't be only one truck. Suddenly the world seemed to blow up and all hell broke loose. There was a series of explosions that hit the spots where Steve and his men were stationed. It was clear that the information received from the intelligence were fake. It was a trap.

Steve looked around, desperately looking for a way to save his men from the ambush. Just at that moment private Davenport, who was at his side, was hit in the abdomen, while a splinter hurt Steve's arm. Somehow he managed to take him on his shoulders, oblivious that his own wound was bleeding, while the seal screamed in pain and tried to find a point to cover his men's retreat.

That evening, at the base, was forced to report to his superiors before he could take care of his arm. But he didn't feel pain, didn't really feel anything, he seemed to be an empty shell. He had lost more than half of his men when he managed to get to the base with the survivors, and when Davenport had removed from his shoulders, he was already dead. He was just a boy, couldn't be more than twenty-five years old. It was all for nothing.

Finally he went out from the infirmary to go lie down on his bed. He was so tired that he thought he fell asleep immediately when touched the pillow, but he didn't. In his mind, he still hear Davenport's screams, while he was carrying him on his shoulders. Screams that, slowly, had turned into moans, more subtle, and then the silence. A silence that thundered in his ears as the most powerful explosions. Inside he had realized that it was useless to continue, that there was nothing for him to do, but he didn't want to surrender. They were all boys, were his boys, his responsibility, and they died.

Covering his face with his arm, he thought that everything he did seemed useless. It was like fighting the hydra, cut her a head and, in its place, stuck other two. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a photograph. He looked at the picture of him smiling and Danny on the day of their marriage. He had put it in his pocket at the last moment before leaving home, to be able to watch it every now and then, when homesickness had become unbearable. In that moment he was missing his family so much that it seemed he just can't do it anymore and didn't notice the tears rolling down his face.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** **Sadly I don't own them. I wish I did****. I own nothing but I do love this show so very much that I can't stay away.**

**Chapter 4**

Danny awoke with a start and found himself sitting on the bed in a cold sweat. As usual, it took him a moment to realize where he was and then he turned on the light. The bedside clock ticked past four in the morning. He fell back on the pillows, sighing: damn, he had fallen asleep only for a couple of hours! A nightmare had woke him up, a nightmare in which Steve was injured and called him, desperately needed his help and he couldn't reach him. Nothing new, pretty much he had nightmares like that almost every night since Steve was gone. But this time it seemed so real that just when he closed his eyes he saw it again.

Abruptly he pulled his legs out of the bed and stood up, going to the bathroom to wash his face with cold water. He went back into the bedroom and, from the bedside table, he pulled out the only letter that he had received from Steve. Turned it over in his hands for a moment and then he went downstairs.  
He turned on the light and sat down on the couch. For a moment he looked at his edgy writing and smiled, patting slightly the rough paper with his thumb. Then he opened it and took out the sheet, now crumpled for all the times he had already picked it up, and read it again for the umpteenth time. It was undated, he didn't know when Steve had written it.

_Dear__Danno,__  
__Now__it's night__but__I cannot sleep__, __as usual.__I'm__out here__looking at the stars__, you cannot __imagine__how many are there__, __even more__than at home.__But__here__it's cold and__you know how much__I hate it__and, most importantly,__the landscape is not__much.__I wish I could__describe to you this place__, __I wish I could__tell you more__. __The boys__are amazing,__all__ (__in__theory)__very__prepared for what__we are facing.__The practice__is another thing.__They're so__young__Danny!__I hardly__remember__ever being__as young as__them.__They are afraid__, I read it __in their eyes,__and it is right__to have one,__this is what__keeps you alive__. __But nonetheless I have__lost__nearly half of them__, almost half __of my team__, and they were __just kids__Danny,__just kids__! __It's all__so unfair.__Things are not going__so well__and__I have no idea__when__the mission will end__. __When I'm with__the others,__for better or worse,__I can__go on, but__when it's__time to sleep and__rest, I just__feel so bad__without you__ that __I'm afraid__I can't handle it.__ You can't figure __how much__I__want__to go home__and__see you,__ hear your__voice.__This time it's__really hard__Danny,__and__I miss you__so much.__  
__How are__Grace's drawings?__Remember__to hang them,__because__when I come back__I want to find__the whole house__carpeted__. __Embrace__ Grace __strong for me,__give her a kiss__and tell her__I love her and__that__I miss her__a lot.__I__miss you all__so much.__  
__I love you__Danny.__  
__Steve__._

Danny sighed and closed his eyes, leaning his head back. He was sure of not being able to sleep again and he needed to talk to someone. He realized that, in New Jersey, it was already morning. He picked up the phone and dialed the number, hoping to find his mother on the other side to answer.

"Hello."

"Mom?".

"Danny! It's you? What a surprise! What's going on? Are you okay? ".

"Yes mom, I am. I'm fine, don't panic ... "

"But where are you?".

"I'm home ...".

"Home? What time is it in Hawaii? What's going on Danny? "

"Mom calm down. Here it's four in the morning and ... "

"Four in the morning? And you tell me to calm down? I'll ask you again: What's going on? Steve is right?".

"I do not know ..." he muttered as he tried to stifle a sob.

He heard his mother take a breath to try to calm down.

"Danny, now you're scaring me. What do you mean you don't know how Steve is? "

"Steve is on a mission mom, he is away for almost four months. I don't know where he is, we cannot be in touch, I haven't heard from him, and I'm going crazy. I keep telling myself that if nobody calls me that means that he's fine. You know, the Navy alert you when ... when ... " he couldn't finish the sentence because the words died in his throat.

"Why didn't you tell me when I have called? Now I understand why every time we have called you, I could never talk to him. And the excuses that you made up ... "

"I did not want to worry you unnecessarily ..."

"Well at least now I know, and I can worry about it with you! I'm sorry ... I'm sorry I didn't want to scream ... But you're right, if you have no news, that means that he's all right".

"Since he was gone I have received only one letter from him, without a date. And what he wrote ... he feel so depressed ... ".

"Danny, what do you expect? He is in the middle of a war, it's not a piece of cake. If you're so bad at home, how do you think he feels there? Now tell me what woke you up at this time Danny, did you have a nightmare?"

"Yes ..."

"Tell me about it, you'll see that you'll feel better ..."

And Danny started talking to his mother and told her about the dreams he had, how they seemed so real that he couldn't sleep. He told her about that day when he heard about the helicopter's crash. How sick he was at the thought of losing Steve, having to go through life without him. He wasn't going to make it, he was sure of this, he couldn't. Steve was a part of him, the most important part, without which life would be impossible.  
His mother didn't say much, just listened to him, she realized that what he needed was only someone to listen. And so far she couldn't do anything else. If she had been there with him, she would kept him in her arms, as when he was a child, cradling him after a bad dream that had scared him.

Finally, after hours when they said goodbye, Danny realized that he felt better. Call his mother helped him to overcome that night. Hear his voice had calmed down him a little. By now it was morning and he was exhausted after talking all the time.  
Wearily, he went into the bathroom to take a shower and then got ready to go to work.

In the end it was almost five months before he heard news from Steve. They had never spoken. Steve had not written after that one letter or sent any e-mail. They had been five months of hell. Five months punctuated by nightmares and woke up in the middle of the night. Times when he couldn't go back to sleep, and waited for dawn, sitting in one of the chairs on the beach behind the house, and then went to the office more tired that the day before.

Five months in which he was so nervous that he was even able to fight with Chin, then resolving to apologize over a beer, incredulous of the fact that he managed to make him lose his temper. Everything was flattened but this made him feel even worse. And every day that passed without knowing anything, it was as if he lost one month of his life.

That morning Danny had just arrived in the office and was taking a coffee with Chin and Kono, when his phone rang. He looked at the display, but the number was unknown. The usual chill of fear had run down his spine.

"Hello?"

"Detective Williams?"

"It's me"

"I'm Lieutenant Jones of the United States Navy. This call is about Commander McGarrett ... "

"What has happened? Is he okay?" suddenly he realized that his hands were shaking.

"Since you are listed as his family contact, I called you to warn that the commander was wounded. At this time he was admitted in hospital in a base in Germany. He'll return to our country and will arrive at Hickam next Friday at 10:00, with a military flight" said the lieutenant.

"Wounded? How hurt? And now, how is he? Just tell me if now he's good" Danny asked again while he was slowly losing his temper.

"He isn't life threatening" coldly informed the military.

"He is not life threatening? What the hell does that mean? Do you think that this is the way to answer? I asked you if he's okay!"

"I'm sorry sir, I cannot tell you more"

Danny took a deep breath trying to calm down, because it was useless to argue with a soldier.

"Okay, I get it, next Friday at ten o'clock, thank you" he hung up and, without realizing it, he walked to the meeting room and sat down heavily on the first chair he found.

"Danny, what's wrong? It's Steve?" asked Chin crouching in front of him.

Danny looked at him as if he finally recognized him and shook his head to clear it.

"He's in the hospital, he was wounded and they sent him back home next Friday at 10. He comes with a military plane at Hickam ... " Danny seemed almost in shock.

"How hurt? But is he okay?" asked Kono and Danny seemed to awaken suddenly, standing up and starting to walk back and forth.

"I don't know, that idiot naval lieutenant told me that he isn't life threatening. Life-threatening! But how can you say such a thing? Tell me if it's good or not, what does it take? I hate the Navy ... ".

Danny gestured, he got more and more excited because from there to ten days, he finally saw Steve again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** **Sadly I don't own them. I wish I did****. I own nothing but I do love this show so very much that I can't stay away.**

**Chapter 5**

Danny arrived at the airport an hour early, he could no longer stay at home, it was too rough.

Although others had insisted, he wanted to go alone, knowing that Steve would have been grateful. He agreed that he would tell them as soon as Steve had landed, to reassure them about his conditions and maybe they would have seen them all at their home on Sunday afternoon, it depended on how Steve was.

He also wanted to give him time to recover a little, because he had no idea from what part of the world he come, and even less of the severity of his injuries.

Thanking God the hour passed and, finally, Danny saw a military plane land on the runway where he was waiting.

It had taken the Governor intervention to allow him to stay there, but in the end they were successful.

He had to wait almost half an hour before the plane opened the huge door and then, finally, he saw him.

Steve had not realized that he was already there and Danny was able to observe him undisturbed. He saw him get off the plane along with other soldiers, some of them, like him, presumably injured. He realized that he had lost weight, he looked exhausted and he moved stiffly.

He could no longer restrain himself, and just as he was about to call him, Steve turned, as drawn by a magnet, saw him and headed straight for him.

He noted that he was limping, avoiding as much as possible to lean on the right leg. When they were face to face, Danny noticed that the right side of his face and neck was marked by small bruises.

They remained motionless for a moment to stare, almost in disbelief after all this time, to be there, facing each other.

Then Steve made a last step toward him and they embraced. He felt him tense up for a moment and then groaned softly, his face buried in his neck, oblivious to those around him.

"Steve, did I hurt you? Sorry, sorry, that idiot naval lieutenant told me you're hurt ..."

"Danny ... finally ... no, I'm fine ..." muttered Steve clinging on him as if he was afraid of losing him.

Then Danny pulled away from him and stared at the face that he loved so much.

"Come on Steve, let's go home" Steve nodded without another word.

They walked slowly side by side, in silence, their shoulders touching, and went to the car.

Danny put Steve's bag in the back seat, opened the door and helped him to sit down. He saw him clench his jaw to avoid complaining and painfully stretch the right leg.

He walked around the car, sat in the driver's seat and turned to look at him. He noticed that Steve had his head turned to him and didn't take his eyes off without saying a word, as if trying to find something in his face that he had lost.

Danny started the car and they headed home. He was so overwhelmed by the emotion of Steve sitting there at his side, that he couldn't even speak.

Steve also appeared in the same conditions. He took Danny's hand and laced their fingers together, holding it tight in his lap.

Danny drove in silence, and after a few miles Steve was asleep, gliding with his head resting on his shoulder, his hand clinging to his. The horn of a car, however, caused him to almost jump and Danny turned to look at him, worried.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked and the look that he read in his eyes caused his stomach to tight.

It was a moment, than Steve regained his composure immediately.

"Yes, I'm fine" he replied running a hand over his face as if to clear it.

Once there, he helped Steve to get out and go into the house.

**"H50H50H50"**

Danny's POV

I made him lay on the couch and I saw that he was lying on his left side. He closed his eyes but held out his hand for mine. Then I moved the chair to sit next to him and he grabbed me. I felt his grip tighten around my fingers. He didn't say a word and I felt something very similar as the beginning of a discomfort that took place inside of me, because Steve looked so lost and it was too weird. After a few minutes I realized, with a sigh, that he had fallen asleep again. He must have been really tired. I tried to extricate myself from his grasp but I couldn't. Even in his sleep he kept me tied to him.

I shook my head and smiling, and with the other hand I tried to keep the phone. Trying not to wake Steve, I spoke softly to the others to tell them that we were at home and then I stood watching him sleep.

The sense of relief I felt inside me made me feel dizzy. So I spent almost an hour by his side, and just as I was about to try again to extricate our hands and get up to go to the kitchen to prepare something for lunch, Steve began to stir.

I went even further and saw that, under the eyelids, his eyes were moving quickly from side to side. He was dreaming. He began to mutter incomprehensible sentences, and I understood only a few words,_ careful_, and then again _no, no, please_. His forehead was sweaty. I decided to wake him up.

**"H50H50H50"**

Steve's POV

Be home again after all these months seemed so strange to me. I couldn't realizing it. I looked around to find myself again, but I was too tired. I let myself be guided by Danny to the couch, I lay down and closed my eyes.

I was aware that Danny wanted to talk to me, but at this time I couldn't. I felt lost and with my eyes closed I tried his hand and took it. That slightest touch made me feel better and slowly I drifted off to sleep.

_The fog enveloped the village houses and there was an eerie silence around us. The target was the third house of the street, on our left. I motioned my men to advance until we got near the door. Carefully we passed and we found ourselves in a kind of courtyard. No one had even noticed us. The information had said that inside there would be four men including the goal. We were eight. Silently we entered the house and we put out the first game. Unfortunately, Jackson tripped and dropped something. The noise woke the others and they began to fire, hitting the soldier who was at my side and his head exploded in a sea of __splinters and blood that covered my face ..._

**"H50H50H50"**

"Steve, Steve ... Steve wake up ..." he tried to shake him.

At that contact, Steve opened his eyes suddenly, moaning, tried to stand up and looked around. He recognized his living room and fell back on the couch, eyes closed again.

"Danny ..." he whispered and shook the hand that still held bound to himself. He clung to this hand and sat down, avoiding looking at him.

Danny went up to him even more and their shoulders touched. Slowly he began to stroke the base of his spine with gentle circular movements and Steve slowly relaxed, slipping from his shoulder to his lap.

"Are you ready to tell me what happened to you?" Danny asked sweetly. He had an almost desperate need to hear his voice, he wanted to talk to him, but Steve looked up at him and shook his head without saying anything, still with that troubled look.

"I know that the mission is classified, is not what I'm asking. I just want to know where you are hurt and I want you to make me see that leg and any other part of your body that hurts. I want you to tell me if I can do something to make you feel better. "

At the beginning Steve didn't answer, then, finally, he began to speak feebly, still staring at his eyes and keeping Danny's hand fastened tightly in his.

"There was an explosion, I was struck and the fire enveloped the tank before I was able to get away. I have to change the bandage once a day. They gave me antibiotics and painkillers. It's not that serious. This evening I'll just make the dressing".

"I can take care of it".

"No ..."

"At least let me help you lie down in bed, you'll be more comfortable ..."

Too tired to argue, Steve stood up and, with Danny's help, he climbed the stairs and went into the bedroom. Undid his pants and let them fall to his ankles, sat on the bed and took off his boots. Laboriously took off his shirt and stood there, bare-chested.

The right thigh and the upper part of his chest were covered with bandages.

Danny, meanwhile, found the pajamas and when he turned and saw Steve practically naked, wearing on only his boxers, almost had a fit.

It had been five months since he saw Steve like this, and now he was so thin, but his body reacted to him immediately. Steve looked up at him with a look that took Danny's breath away.

"Finally you're home. From now on everything will be fine - he said, kneeling in front of him and touching his face with one hand - I've missed you so badly…".

Steve said nothing, but never kept his eyes from him as he pulled on his pajamas and Danny didn't escape the grimace of pain that he tried in vain to hide.

He handed him a glass of water with two tablets of painkillers along with antibiotics, which Steve accepted without question. Then he lay down. Danny sat down beside him on the bed and asked him if he felt to eat something.

"No ... Danny ... can you stay here with me, please?" he whispered.

Danny didn't wait for him to repeat the question, undressed himself and slipped under the covers next to him. Steve came over and rested his head on his chest, holding him, tying back his right hand to Danny's left , while Danny put his other arm on his back without touching the bandages.

The painkillers were very strong and took him down. In a short Steve slept, his hand still tied with Danny, while he gently massaged his back.

It didn't seem real to be there with him. Those terrible months had finally finished. The hardest thing was not knowing anything about anything because the mission had prevented Steve to communicate with the outside world. In all that time he had never heard from him, the only things I knew were the ones who learned from the newspapers and television.

Whenever he heard information related to actions in which the SEALs were involved, Danny was scared.

Like the time with the helicopter's crash.

But now Steve was there, in his arms, wounded but alive and although it seemed to have no desire to talk at all, Danny finally was able to breathe more freely, as if someone had removed a stone from his chest. He was tired, too, in those months he had always slept badly, a sleep punctuated by constant nightmares that woke him up sweating and panting. So, even though it was lunch time, it didn't take long for him to fall asleep with Steve.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** **Sadly I don't own them. I wish I did****. I own nothing but I do love this show so very much that I can't stay away.**

**Chapter 6**

The sound of the rain woke him up. He opened his eyes and, with the light that filtered through the shutters, he realized it had to be at least mid-afternoon. They slept a lot. He turned to Steve, he were close to him, moaning and groaning softly. He put a hand over his face and shook him slightly.

"Steve ..." he whispered.

He opened his eyes suddenly, saw Danny and made a face that was meant to be a smile. Danny came over and, for the first time since that few hours, before that morning the plane arrived, he kissed him lightly and was about to rise again when Steve, with one arm, pulled him back and stared at him as if he saw him really only at that moment. He took his face in his hands and then kissed him almost with fury, insinuating his tongue between his lips. Danny couldn't hold back a moan of pleasure and remained glued to him until Steve's groan worried him.

"Steve ...".

"Danny ... I love you so much... I want you…" Steve muttered.

"Oh Steve, me too ... but I don't want to hurt you ..." Danny said, breathless.

"We just have to be careful ..." and saying so, he pulled Danny back to him, holding him tight.

The contact between their naked bodies caused him an electric shock and he shook in Danny's arms. He stopped for a moment to look into his eyes, those eyes that he had missed so much and then put his lips on Danny's, in a kiss that became gradually more intense.

After sometime, exhausted, they found themselves embraced.

"I love you Steve" Danny whispered in his ear.

"I love you too Danny," said Steve, who kept his head in the crook of Danny's neck.

"These last months were terrible ... the worst thing was not knowing anything, don't know where you were, don't know if you were okay, or if you were hurt ... I don't know how much longer I could resist ... I think I drove myself crazy ..." he whispered and then, because Steve was silent, he continued.

"I don't know how many times I was tempted to call the governor and ask him if he could, somehow, hear something from you ..."

"And why didn't you do it?" Steve muttered.

"I wanted to but… I know it's stupid, but then… I thought that if I had known, maybe I would have gotten an answer that would make me feel worse, or maybe that would bring you bad luck and maybe something could have happen to you and I ..." he paused to catch his breath.

"Danny ... I see that you don't lost the habit ..."

"What habit?"

"The habit that you have to put together a number of words and think that they also have a real meaning for those who are listening to you ..." Steve said, looking up at him with a half smile.

"I know it's been tough – he continued leaning to him - I know because also for me it was, you do not know how much. There were times when I didn't think what I could have done to move on. The things that I saw and did ... "he paused, his voice breaking. After a while, he went on.

"The only thing that allowed me to keep fighting was you, was the thought of you ..." he whispered, clinging to him even more.

Danny was silent for a moment, overwhelmed with emotions, then placed a kiss on his forehead, sighing.

"I'm so tired ..." Steve whispered.

"Sleep ... I take care of you ..." Danny said.

Instead, without realizing it, they both fell asleep, and when Danny first woke up, it was time for dinner.  
Steve was still holding tight to him and Danny, with only one free hand, stroked his stubble cheek, to wake him up. At this touch Steve opened his eyes and smiled.

"It 's time for dinner Steve, aren't you hungry?".

"Not much, you?"

"I'm starving, and you still have to eat because you have to take the meds. Come on, let us stand up so I can make something".

After helping Steve to get dressed, they went downstairs together and went to the kitchen. Danny pulled some eggs out from the fridge and began to prepare an omelet. Outside, the rain had increased in intensity and Steve was pouring water when a series of sudden thunder split the sky. He stopped, leaning on the cabinet and covered his eyes with one hand. The bottle slowly rolled off the table on the floor and Danny, hearing the noise, turned to him.

"Steve! What's up?" he asked approaching the man.

"It 's all right, It's just a thunder, calm down ..." he whispered, putting a hand on Steve's shoulder.

Steve leaned down to pick up the bottle and, at the same time, to avoid the contact and walked away. He didn't want to be seen as weak by Danny.

"It's nothing, I'm fine ..." he said then, giving him his back.

Danny stood before him without touching him and saw that his eyes were closed, he was made short breaths, trying to regain control. Then Steve opened his eyes.

"Better?" Danny asked.

"Yes ..."

"Come on, let's eat something," and saying so, he pushed him back into the kitchen.

They had dinner with Danny who spoke all the time, trying to tell him what had happened during the months in which he had been away, to fill the silence. Steve was silent and listened to him, answering in monosyllables, and never took his eyes off him. When they had finished, Danny got up to put the dishes in the dishwasher.

"Go and lie down on the couch while I finish here, I'll be right there in a couple of minutes" he said and Steve, reluctantly, went to the living room.

Quickly, Danny put everything in place and followed him into the other room. He saw him standing, watching Grace's drawings that covered all the walls. With his hands, light touched them up, one by one. There were so many. He joined him and stood behind him.

"She has drawn for you every day. She said that it seemed to be near you. She spoke to you while she were drawing ... actually that made me a little worry because at first I thought she had put in her mind to have an imaginary friend, but she explained to me that it wasn't - _I'm_ _not__stupid__Danno__, there is no __imaginary friends_ - she spoke with you, explaining the drawing she made - _I pretend__that he's here__watching me__ while I'm drawing __Danno_…".

He paused, and when he stood before him, he realized that Steve's eyes were bright with tears.

"Hey ... come on ... come here," he said, taking him by the arm and dragging on the couch.

Steve lay down on Danny's lap without a word and, as he had done from the moment they met again, he took Danny's hand and intertwined with his, holding it to his chest.  
Danny leaned his head back and sighed. He thought that it would take quite a bit of time before everything was back to normal. But no matter what, the important thing was that Steve was there with him. Things would be adjusted. The key thing was to finally be together again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** **Sadly I don't own them. I wish I did****. I own nothing but I do love this show so very much that I can't stay away.**

**Chapter 7**

That same evening, before going to sleep, it was time to make the crucial dressing. Danny wanted, at all costs, to see Steve's wounds, he wanted to understand the gravity and he didn't like the idea that he wanted to think about it by himself. He was losing his patience and didn't understand why Steve was so reluctant. So he followed him into the bedroom, ready to argue and win.

"Steve, come on, why don't you want me to help you? How can you do this alone ... no one medicate himself... ".

Steve closed his eyes and sighed, he wasn't strength enough to argue with him.

"All right, Danny ..." he gave up.

After he was stripped, Danny gently removed the bandage that covered the outside of the right thigh, and suddenly, he thought that he realized the reason why Steve was so reluctant to let him heal the wounds: simple, he didn't want that Danny, seeing them, cared even more. For a moment he stopped breathing at what stood before him: the scar ran the length of the thigh and the stitches must have been at least forty. The cut was still brighter than the rest of the leg, but luckily it was almost healed, though it didn't look good. It would become another of the many scars.

Danny looked up at him.

"Here, what do you need to do?" he asked.

"Nothing, the bandage is just a precaution, not to be in direct contact with the fabric of the pants ... it's enough sensitive ..." Steve replied, and his forehead was sweating slightly.

"Does it hurt?" Danny asked.

"No".

At that answer, he raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"You were in Germany, right? How long have you been in the hospital?... "he murmured looking at him.

"Three weeks," Steve said, and then paused, letting him know that he could not tell him anything else.

_God,__three weeks and I know nothing,_ thought Danny and nodded. He could well imagine what had been for him in those days, still confined to a bed. He began to take off the bandages that surrounded the chest, until nothing remained but a gauze to cover the wound.

"And this? is this also healed? ".

"Not really ... but enough to come home ..." Steve whispered.

Danny felt a lump shake his throat at his words, but said nothing.

"Come on, lie down, let me see ...".

He stood up and made Steve lay on the bed so that he could reach him easily. When he took the last gauze that covered the upper right chest, he couldn't restrain an exclamation of dismay, because the wound looked terrible and Danny felt his stomach turn.

"It looks worse than it is Danny, the burn is not so deep, they managed to get me out from under the tank fast enough ... I know how to handle it, otherwise I wouldn't be sent home ..." Steve said, finally putting together more than two words and trying to calm him, given the expression on Danny's face.

"Of course you're the one who convinced them. I know how much you can be annoying ... However, how should we do about it? "Danny asked, his voice a little trembling.

"You must first remove these fragments of skin that came off – he pointed them - then you have to cleanse it, put on this ointment - handed him a pack of antibiotic cream - in the end you have to cover it with a sterile gauze and a bandage".

Danny swallowed, and with a light hand, began to cleanse. Steve didn't say anything, but Danny saw that his hands were clenched into fists and he also clenched his jaw. At one point he escaped a groan, Danny closed his eyes and stopped.

"Steve ..."

"It's nothing ... don't stop, the sooner we finish the better ..." he whispered.

Danny gently applied the gauze and then helped Steve to be able to sit to apply bandage. He took painkillers and antibiotics and he handed them to him, along with a glass of water. Steve accepted them without question. At the end he was exhausted and lay on his left side, watching Danny, meanwhile he undressed and slipped under the covers next to him.

Steve approached him and rested his head on Danny's chest, holding him, tying back his right hand to Danny's left, while Danny put his other arm on his back, avoiding to touch the bandages. For a while neither spoke, until Danny, no longer able to restrain himself, at the end asked him.

"Why did you make such a fuss for dressing? Why didn't you want me to do it?".

Steve didn't answer at first, then spoke softly.

"I didn't want you to see it until it improved more than that ... I didn't want you to worry for me, even now that I'm here ..."

"You know what? Sometimes you're just weird Steve McGarrett ..."

"Why?"

"Why? don't you know? It is part of my duties as a husband to worry about you. And I do it all the time".

He moved a little to look at him in the face.

"I love you Steve, and I cannot help but worry about you. Then tell me how did you think to do to keep this thing hidden? We've been married, live and sleep together...".

"I would medicated it by myself and I would keep it always covered ..." Steve's voice was fading.

Danny shook his head.

"Go to sleep now, thickhead ...".

"Danny?".

"What?".

"I love you too..." Steve whispered with his eyes closed, and Danny smiled to himself.

**H50 H50 H50**

The lack of something woke him up. He opened his eyes and what he no longer felt was the weight of Steve's head on his chest. He turned to him and, in the dim light of dawn filtered through the open blinds, he saw him raised up on one elbow, his head resting on his hand, intent on staring at him.

"Hey ... hello ...".

Steve smiled and said nothing.

"Can you tell me what is this obsession that you've got?" he asked.

"What obsession?".

"Basically, it's since yesterday morning, when you come down from that plane, that you never stop staring at me. Look, I don't run away, you know…".

The smile faded on Steve's face and he sighed, reaching out to take Danny's hand. Danny shook it.

"Steve ..." Danny pressed him.

"I know you don't run away ..." and he stopped.

"But? I feel that there is a but somewhere. What Steve, tell me...".

"It's... that doesn't seem true to be here you know, it's as if I don't realize it yet ... I was so eager to come back ... and that moment seemed to never come ... every time I wake up, for a moment it still seems to be there ... I just want to be sure that it's not like this..." Steve replied without taking his eyes off him "it's stupid, isn't it? ...".

What Danny read in that look almost stopped his heart. God, how he loved him! The intensity of what he felt was almost a physical pain.

"No, it's not stupid ..."

He approached him and kissed him. Steve dropped on the pillow and Danny put back his lips to his in a sweet and sensual kiss. Being careful not to hurt him, he hugged him at the same time.

"It 's quite real like this?" he whispered in his ear, nibbling the lobe.

"Yes - Steve murmured hugging him tight to himself - yes, it is ...".

Tbc.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** **Sadly I don't own them. I wish I did****. I own nothing but I do love this show so very much that I can't stay away.**

**Chapter 8**

Later that morning, they were in front of Grace's school and waited for the kids to come out. Since he had returned only the day before, Danny thought it would be better if he stayed at home, but Steve didn't want to listen to any reason and went with him anyway, it was as if he absolutely didn't want to be alone. That morning they had almost fought because Steve didn't take the painkillers: he said that they made him sleepy and he wanted to stay awake to see Grace. So, in the end, Danny had only given him the antibiotics.

The sound of the bell roused them from their thoughts and Danny got out to show herself to Grace. The girl didn't know that Steve had come back, only God knows what kind of mess she would make seeing him again, even for Grace those months had been hard, especially the nights.

"Here Steve, she's coming".

Steve opened the door and, not easily, got out. The burn hurt, but he could stand it and was glad he didn't take the medicine, now he would be sleeping and he didn't want to. He wanted to see Grace, he really needed it.  
The girl came down the school's stairs and saw his father, then suddenly stopped, his mouth open, then ran toward them.

"Uncle Steve, Uncle Steve!" and flew into his arms before Danny had time to stop her.

Danny saw him tighten his jaw and close his eyes as he held her to him and stagger slightly, so he was ready to put a hand behind his back otherwise they both end up in the ground.

"Grace, be careful, Steve is still not doing well!" he said hastily.

The girl pulled away from him and stared at him.

"Did I hurt you?" she asked contritely.

"No, Grace, don't worry, it's nothing ..." Steve said, giving her a kiss on her forehead.

"I'm so glad you're back Uncle Steve ..."

"Me too Grace, I couldn't wait to hug you... come on, let's go home" and saying so, he helped her get into the car and Danny adjusted her seat belt.

"So Grace, what would you like to do today?" Danny asked driving home.

"I want to go to the beach and I want to swim with Uncle Steve, and then I would like us to do a huge sand castle and us to gather all the shells together Danno, okay?"

"Steve cannot get wet Grace, I told you he's still not fine ..."

"But I can watch from the shore and I can still do the sand castle and I can collect the shells" Steve objected, half turned towards her, really smiling for the first time "can I Danno?" he asked, turning then to Danny with that look which he knew he didn't resist.

"Oh my goodness! How can my life have become like this? - Danny yelled gesturing - and that's fine, ok for the castle and the shells! But without overdoing it ... and no bath for you!" he said with a look of warning and pointing a finger at Steve.

"Ok Danno. It's a deal!" and turned to Grace winking at her while the girl laughed.

**H50 H50 H50**

The afternoon passed pleasantly on the beach. Chin and Kono had gone by to check on Steve, but didn't stay for a long time, imagining that the three of them wanted to be alone after all those months away.  
Danny was never tired of observing the two most important people in his life, finally together. They had collected dozens of shells, put them in a glass jar that Steve had found in the garage. Then they built a huge sand castle, complete with moat, which Grace had tried unsuccessfully to fill with water. He noticed that Steve seemed calmer near Grace and did his best to satisfy every request, although it was apparent to Danny, that he wasn't at all well. To let him rest a bit, Danny proposed to the girl to go for a swim with him and Grace was delighted.

"Rest a little – he said to Steve – do you hurt anywhere?"

"No, I'm fine" he said, but anyone could see a mile away that he wasn't.

"Danno is right Uncle Steve, if you lie down, you'll be more comfortable," said Grace.

"But if I lie down I cannot see you while you swim" he said smiling at her.

The girl came up to him and hugged him gently.

"Never mind, Uncle Steve, I want you to heal" she whispered, and after giving him a kiss, she ran towards the shore.

Steve closed his eyes for a moment, touched by the little girl's show of affection. Danny sighed and got up to follow Grace, 'cause she already was with his feet in the water. When he turned toward the beach, he saw that Steve was lying on the towel. After what seemed to Danny like hours, they left the water.

"Take it easy Grace, maybe Steve is sleeping ..." he recommended.

Sure enough, when they approached him, they saw him asleep. Grace went to the house to drink and Danny sat next to Steve who, all at once, opened his eyes.

"Where's Grace?" he asked immediately sitting up with a grimace.

"She's been in the house, she was thirsty. How do you feel? " he asked worried, looking at the pain that he read on his face.

"I'm fine Danny – but Danny's eyebrows rose and he went on - so don't worry, I've had worse…"

"_I've__had worse_ he says! And this seems to be nothing? You had to take medication, damn you, you're more stubborn than a mule! "

"No, I would have slept all afternoon".

Danny shook his head, muttering to himself and stood up.

"Now let's go back inside, Grace did the swim, made the castle and also collected the shells so that's enough for today. Shower and then dinner. Come on... "

Steve sighed, but gave up, 'cause he was really tired, even if he didn't want to admit it, the burn hurt like hell, so he followed Danny into the house.

**H50 H50 H50**

After having ate dinner and put Grace back to bed with a good night history, finally Danny and Steve went into the bedroom. Steve took off the bandage on his leg and decided he didn't want to put anything on, since it was practically healed. He desperately wanted to take a shower but the burn couldn't be wet, so he decided to wash, again, with a sponge, as he become into the habit of doing this nearly from a month, with Danny's assistance.  
The dressing chest then took the last bit of energy he had. Danny made him lie down on his back, and took away the bandages. He began to wipe it gently but despite trying to make him less harm as possible, there was a moment when Steve couldn't help but moan clutching the sheets in his hands, his face buried in the pillow.

Danny did his best to avoid him suffer too much, but it was almost impossible. When, at the end, he put the last band, Steve was exhausted and barely able to speak. He didn't object when Danny gave him painkillers and antibiotics, he took them together, and fell back on the pillows without saying a word. When Danny lay down beside him and turned off the light, Steve turned to him with closed eyes and, as always, took his hand in his, squeezing. In a few minutes the drugs made him fall asleep.

**H50 H50 H50**

_The explosion__was sudden and__the__tank__fell over__on him.__He felt a__terrible__sharp pain__in his right leg__that almost__made __him__lose consciousness,__but the worst__were__the flames.__The fire__seemed to be a__living thing__, and the __sound it made__reminded__the roar of a__wild animal.__And he__couldn't move.__He was trapped__under__the vehicle__and when it pounced on him,__the only thing he__could do was__try to__protect his face__but__a tongue of fire__caught up with him__and it was as__if a thousand__knives__had__hit__ him __at the same time__..._

Steve suddenly awoke. He found himself sitting, breathless, with Danny trying unhelpfully to calm him down. His heart was beating wildly in his chest when Steve leaned back on the cushions, with Danny, who continued to whisper comfort words.

"It 's always the same dream?" Danny asked after a while.

"Yes."

"Do you want to tell me?".

"No".

"Why not ... maybe you would feel better ..."

"No ... I don't ..."

"Ok. Be quiet, I'm here with you, now you're safe" he came up to him, placing his chest against his back, hugging him from behind and kissing his neck feeling that, slowly, Steve calmed down.

**H50 H50 H50**

He was tired but didn't want to sleep. Since he entered the hospital in Germany every time he closed his eyes, he made terrible dreams. So real ... he sighed, trying to move as little as possible to allow Danny to believe that he had gone back to sleep. He desperately wanted everything back to normal, but there were times when he was afraid that this wouldn't have been possible. Moments like that, when he woke up from that cursed nightmare. In the darkness of the room he relived once again everything that had happened that day, thinking about what he could have done to prevent what had happened, maybe he might have acted differently. Maybe. He was full of doubts. Sighing he shook his hand with Danny's in his, and looking through the open window, prepared himself to wait for dawn.

**H50 H50 H50**

He had calmed down but Danny was sure that he was not sleeping. He continued to feel the tension in Steve's back muscles, leaning against him. He didn't move, trying to regulate the breath as if he were sleeping. Steve wanted to feel safe, he didn't want to put pressure on him, even though the need that Danny had to figure out what had happened, became every moment more urgent. He was at home only for two days and each time he had fallen asleep a nightmare had awakened him, and the only way that Danny knew to overcome these things, were just talking about it, but he knew that, in this moment, Steve didn't want. He would, of course, but only when he felt ready.  
Sighing, he shook his hands with Steve's in his, and looking through the open window, prepared himself to wait for dawn.

**H50H50H50**

Both men knew that the other wasn't asleep, but neither of them said anything.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** **Sadly I don't own them. I wish I did****. I own nothing but I do love this show so very much that I can't stay away.**

**Chapter 9**

It had been a week since Steve had come home, and that Saturday Danny had decided to have a barbecue on the beach. They would stay together for the whole day and not just a few minutes as during the visits they had done so far. Chin and Kono came while Danny was going to bring out the drinks. Malia was on duty in the hospital. They helped him and stood on the porch watching Steve and Grace who were building the usual huge sand castle.

"How is he, really?" said a worried Chin turned toward Danny.

"The wound in the leg is good. The chest is better, even if it seems to me still a frightening burn. And when he is with Grace he seems more relaxed, but ... I don't know, something happened during this mission but still he doesn't want to talk about it. At night, he has nightmares, almost every night ... terrible nightmares... ".

"You say that when he is with Grace is better?" asked Kono.

"Yeah, like now, you see? He smiles ... when Grace is not there, there are times when he doesn't open his mouth for hours, staring into space. Then I sit down next to him and the only thing he does is hug me, in silence, as if to make sure that I'm there with him. I tried to convince him to tell me something but he didn't want to, if I ask him to tell me he just doesn't answer to me, standing there in silence and holds me tight, as if I could disappear at any moment, or he gets up and go away ... I don't know what to do ... I would like to help but I don't know what to do ... " Danny concluded with a hint of desperation in his voice.

He paused, looking at the ocean. That day, despite the sun shining, there were huge waves that crashing noisily on the beach.

Just at that moment, Grace got up and ran to the water, to pick something up from the sand. They heard Steve screaming.

"Grace! Be careful!".

It all happened in an instant. One moment they were there and the next moment Grace had disappeared into the waves and Steve had dived.  
They all ran to the shore and breathed a sigh of relief when they saw them emerge almost immediately with Grace close to Steve's neck.  
Danny tried to get her but the girl didn't want to leave Steve and remained clinging to him.

"Grace, it's all right, it was nothing, just a wave bigger than the others. Now it's all right" and saying so, Steve knelt and put the child on the ground.

"But you're okay Uncle Steve? You are wet, your clothes are wet and with your injury you didn't have to ..." Grace replied in a trembling voice.

At these words, Danny suddenly realized what had happened. He reached down to his level and took Grace's hand.

"Monkey, are you sure you're okay?".

"Yes Danno, I'm fine, I didn't even drunk but Uncle Steve ..."

"I'll take care of him, would you go with Kono in the house to change your clothes?".

"Okay Danno".

Kono took her by the hand and led her into the house, while Danny and Chin helped Steve up.

"Come on Steve, let's go into the house, you must take off your clothes and these wet bandages" said Danny, Steve nodded and said nothing.

The salt water was making the injury burn in a terrible way and instinct told him to tear the bandages off. Instead he did nothing of all this and he was guided up the stairs and then into the room, on the bed, where Chin had spread a cloth not to wet the sheets.  
Danny ran into the bathroom to get everything he need to treat the wound and, in the twinkling of an eye, he was again at his side. He helped him take off his clothes and then took off his bandages soaked in salt water, made him lie down and began to dress. He tried to use the most delicately way as possible, but even so, Steve couldn't help but grin and moan softly.

While Danny finished the dressing, Chin put a hand on his forehead, trying to calm him and make him feel that he was there for him.  
When he had finished, Danny handed him a couple tablets of painkillers. Steve took them without a word and closed his eyes, covering them with his arm.  
Danny and Chin stared each other without saying anything, both concerned about what might happen. The problem with burns, were infections. The salt water was absolutely not recommended.

"Brah, I'll stay here with him, go to Grace ..." Chin whispered.

Danny nodded and left the room to look for Grace and Kono. He found the girls in the room, sitting side by side on the bed. Grace kept her eyes lowered, while Kono whispered something in her ear that Danny could not hear.

"Monkey ..." he murmured.

Grace looked up and went to meet him, hugging him.

"How is Uncle Steve?" she asked worriedly.

"I medicated him and soon he'll fall asleep. You know, his medicines are very strong and all they do is just put him to sleep. But it's better, so he doesn't feel bad and he heals without notice" Danny replied, his tone light, to lift up again her mood.

Sure enough the child felt guilty, she was her father's daughter.

"Calm down Grace - said Danny exchanging glances with Kono over his shoulder - everything will be fine, you'll see".

**H50 H50 H50**

The morning light filtering through the blinds, woke him up. He turned to Steve and saw that he wasn't sleeping and was watching him. He put his hand on his forehead and Steve closed his eyes with a groan.

"Steve, how do you feel? Does the wound hurt? ".

"A little..." he murmured.

Danny shooting sat on the bed, moving the sheets to remove the bandages that covered the burn so it can be controlled. As soon as he was done he realized that something was wrong: the burn, that until the day before seemed much improved, now didn't look good.

"Damn Steve, why didn't you wake me? I have to treat it again ... ".

Steve didn't answer and Danny got up to take the necessary. When he had finished, Steve's eyes were closed, his forehead was sweaty and Danny took a damp cloth to wipe it. At that touch Steve opened his eyes.

"Hey ..."

"Danny ..."

"Shut up, don't talk, you need to rest now."

"Where is Grace? ..."

"Grace is good Steve, I called Rachel last night. She come to pick her up and brought her home, don't worry about her. By the way, thank you ... - and, at Steve's confused look, he continued - for having pulled her out of the water, if it wasn't for you ... " and he couldn't continue.

Steve tried to smile, but the gesture turned into a grimace as he tried to get up.

"Hey, where do you think you are going?"

"I get up, I don't want to stay in bed ..."

"But how can I deal with you? Can you tell me? You need to rest, don't walk around as if nothing had happened ... "

"I'm not an invalid, I want to go downstairs Danny, I can sit on the couch ..."

Danny sighed, raising his eyes to heaven, but eventually gave in and helped him to dress, after having again made the bandage.

The rest of the day passed with Danny that practically did nothing but go back and forth between the rooms and the couch, because every ten minutes he was there and rested his hand on Steve's forehead to make sure there wouldn't be fever, obvious symptoms of an infection.

**H50 H50 H50**

Later that evening, Danny was in the kitchen and he was about to wash the salad that accompanied the steak dinner, when he heard Steve moan from the couch. In a moment he was beside him and realized that he was having yet another nightmare. This time, however, he felt a distinct name in the confused words that Steve spoke in his sleep: _Grace_. He closed his eyes and sighed, then sat down beside him and shook him slightly as Steve woke up suddenly. He took him gently in his arms and hugged him, while Steve, panting, buried his face in the crook of Danny's neck.

"Steve ... please ... tell me ..." he said pulling away from him and staring at him.

But Steve shook his head. He closed his eyes and fell back on the couch, clutching Danny's hand in his.

"I'm fine Danny, it's nothing, just give me a minute ..." he murmured.

"It's not true that you're fine! Look, every time you fall asleep you have a nightmare! You cannot go on like this ... Steve you have to talk to me, you have to tell me what's going on! " he didn't notice that he had raised his voice.

Steve let go of him and sat down, his hands on his temples.

"Don't yell at me Danny, please ..."

Danny knelt in front of him and leaned against his legs.

"Sorry, I didn't want to yell at you, but I cannot see you like this, you scare the shit out of me…"

"I know, Danny, I'm sorry ... I need some time, then I'll be better, it's not my first mission, though ..."

"What Steve ..."

Steve got up from the couch and walked away from him, his back to him.

"This time was different, I don't know ... maybe I was different ... everything seemed more difficult, more painful, every man I lost made me feel so bad ... it shouldn't have been like this, we have been taught to compartmentalize what we feel, but this time I didn't... and I feel that I have made mistakes, and I shouldn't have ... and because of me ... " he stopped talking and covered his face with his hands.

Danny came over and took him in his arms, holding tight.

"Hey, come here ... calm down, now it's all over ... I don't want to pressure, take all the time you need, but remember that I'm here with you and you're not just in a place forgotten by God and by men; you're home now, you're with me. "

"Danno..."

"I know Steve, I love you too."


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** **Sadly I don't own them. I wish I did****. I own nothing but I do love this show so very much that I can't stay away.**

**Warning: there is a lot of McDanno action going on here, so this chapter gets an NC-17 rating. **

**Chapter 10**

That Saturday night Grace was with them and they had dinner with pizza. The previous night had been particularly difficult for Steve and for most of the day he had been eerily quiet despite the presence of the child, which usually put him in a good mood. They had just finished and he and Grace were sitting together on the couch with the little girl curled up in his arms, watching a cartoon, while Danny began to wash the dishes. Grace was tired after all day at the beach, and her eyes were closed while, with one hand, she was clutching Steve's shirt.  
Danny was rinsing dishes before putting them in the dishwasher and Steve, with Grace sleeping in his arms, said he would go up to put her to bed. He finished rearranging and, before reaching him in the room, he checked that the doors and windows were closed and inserted the alarm.

Climbing the stairs, he saw that the light in the bedroom was off. He came in and the room was empty. Then he began to look for Steve, but also the bathroom was empty. He went out on the corridor and, with the corner of his eye, he noticed a light to the right, coming from Grace's room . It was his night light, the girl was afraid of the dark and kept it on all night. Without thinking he went to check her and it was thus that he also found Steve.

He sat on the floor beside Grace's bed, his forehead resting on the arm holding the bed. When Danny came into the room, he saw that the little girl was sleeping peacefully, with Steve's hand between her.

He touched him on the shoulder, Steve raised his head and, at that moment, Danny's heart stopped. Steve was crying. He cried without making a sound, the tears rolling down his cheeks and he did nothing to stop them. He looked so desperate that Danny knelt in front of him, regardless of the thick that his bad knee had given him.

"Steve ... what's going on ..." he whispered, but he didn't say anything, just kept looking at him and the tears didn't stop "please Steve, you're scaring me ...".

He didn't get anything and then he walked up and sat down beside him, hugging him. They stood there, next to Grace's bed for what seemed like hours to Danny. In the end, without a word, Steve got up and left the room. Danny stood there for a moment and then followed him. He saw that he had gone to the beach and sat on one of the chairs. Motionless, staring at the horizon. Danny sat down on the other and waited. Now he knew it was useless to question him, he wouldn't have responded. He spoke without asking nothing, when he felt ready. At least he had stopped crying.

At some point Steve reached out his hand, took one of Danny and held it tightly in his. Danny felt that he trembled slightly. He was sure that Steve had come to a point where he couldn't take it anymore, he had never seen him in such conditions and he didn't know how to help. Despite his intentions not to press him, he couldn't help himself.

"Steve ... please say something ..."

For a while Steve said nothing, shaking his hand, then he began to speak.

"We were in a village. We were told that there was hiding a cell of Al Qaeda and that we had to check it out. The village seemed deserted, there was not a soul around, you didn't even hear the dogs barking. The only sound was the wind whistling between the houses and raised the dust on the road. At some point, out of nowhere, jumped out a little girl: she was a brunette, thin and dirty, she will have had more or less Grace's age. She came to us. I told her to stop, to go back but she didn't understand me and continued to approach until she came practically one step away from me. He had Grace's eyes and, for a moment, I saw her. She was there in front of me and looked at me without saying anything. I was mesmerized. Suddenly she turned and ran away, disappearing into the door of a house. It was like waking up from a dream. After an hour we were still stationed there, and she was back. We stood behind this pile of rubble, protected by our tank and she approached again. I don't know why she didn't say anything, just stood there watching, with those huge brown eyes. She looked so fragile ... like Grace, just like her... I couldn't stop looking at her ... we were all paralyzed, like those dreams where you want to do something but cannot move ..." he paused, his voice breaking.

He hung on Danny's hand as if it was his lifeline and Danny held him tight, without forcing him to speak, now that he had started, he was sure that he would go to the end.  
Indeed, after a while, he again began to speak.

"Then, from nowhere, suddenly something hit the tank, and it fell on its side. I was distracted by her and it caught me off guard, I wasn't ready ... I was trapped and I injured my leg. The tank exploded and the flames have burned me. My comrades were able to get me out".

"And the little girl?"

"She was right next to the wheels when the vehicle is overturned. She crushed. She didn't even cry. I wanted ... I wanted to help her with everything, I had to take she out but I didn't, I couldn't move ... ".

"You were injured and trapped under a tank Steve, how could you save her? It wasn't your fault.."

"I know."

They were silent for a while. Then Steve let him go and stood up, approached the shore. Danny followed him and stood behind him.

"Is that what you dream every night?"

"Yes, that and much more ... but ... most of the time I only dream of that ... but instead of that little girl ... is Grace that is always looking at me ... and she talks to me, asks me for help and I cannot do anything ... and then the fire envelops her and she screams ... " muttered Steve running his hands over his face.

"Oh Steve ... but it's only a dream, Grace is fine, she's safe in her bed, it's not going to happen, you'll see" he replied stepping in front of him and taking him by the shoulders.

"Yes, you're right, but ..."

"No buts Steve. It's the way it is. Maybe you couldn't save that little girl, but if Grace is sleeping in her room beyond, it's thanks to you. What if she had drowned that day? If you hadn't dived to pull she out of the water and now she was no longer there? Try and think what our lives would be without her. What would become of us? But you did it not happen because you saved her, forgetting about yourself and your wounds. Because you are like that, always precede the others first to yourself and this is one of the many reasons why I love you so much, "he concluded hugging him.

Steve was silent, but hearing him talk, he clung to Danny more and more.

"Come here - said Danny returning the tight - now you're at home, with me and Grace, we're safe, we're together. We are a family. You have to leave all this behind. It's over now. We'll be fine, trust me. "

Steve lowered his head to look at him.

"I trust you Danno" muttered staring at him intensely.

And Danny, at those words, kissed him, and held him in his arms.

"Come on Steve, let's go back inside ..."

He took his hand and together they returned to the house, climbed the stairs and slipped into their bedroom, closing the door.

They stood in the center of the room, stared each other and then Steve took a step toward him. Putting a hand behind his neck, he came to him and pressed his lips to his. Slowly their tongues intertwined and Danny's hands slipped under his shirt, going along the back muscles. Slipped it to him by the head and touched the bandage on his chest, looking up at him as if to ask an implicit permission. Steve nodded his head to encourage him to continue and Danny began to leave a trail of little kisses from the chest to the abdomen muscles. He knelt in front of him and undid his belt, making his pants fall to his ankles. Pulled them along with his underwear, without touching him, leaving him naked, brushed, with one hand, against the scar on his leg and then stood up. Steve did the same with him. Undressed him slowly, he never touched him and that did nothing but increase the desire they had of each other.

They hadn't said a word, but they had never taken their eyes off each other. Tacitly agree, they lay on the bed, Danny on his back and Steve practically lying on top of him. They moved almost in slow motion. As always, the contact between their naked bodies was electric and both shivered with pleasure and anticipation, with hearts beating like drums. Steve stared at him as if to impress in his mind, every little detail of his lover's face and, at the same time, wanted to erase all those memories that haunted him day and night. Danny thought that anyone, anyone in his whole life had ever looked at him like this, with all that love in his eyes, everything for him and he seemed to be about to burst from the desire he had to make love with Steve, completely, feel within himself, to be fully and finally his.

He pulled him to himself and began to kiss him slowly. They continued to kiss each other for what seemed like hours, exploring each other and neither of them gave the impression of wanting to quit. It was as if both, with kisses, wanted to wipe out forever all the months in which they had stayed away. Steve then began to kiss his neck, his shoulders, slowly descended on his chest and kissed his nipples, nibbling as he always did. And Danny tried to stifle the cries that came from his throat, after all Grace slept two rooms away and certainly he didn't want to be heard by her.

Steve climbed back to his body again, brushing gently with one hand and went to kiss him passionately, while the other hand went down, to stroke him and prepare him, where he wanted it more. And Danny arched against him, seeking even greater contact with each other. It seemed to go crazy with desire.

"Steve ..." he gasped.

"I love you Danny ... I want you ... now ..." Steve whispered in his ear.

Then Danny spread his legs and Steve, with a single thrust slow but steady, was inside him. God, how he had desired that moment! Danny tied his legs around his body and held him. Steve stood there, trying to prolong that intimate contact, the warmth that enveloped him and stared at him, but Danny kept his eyes closed.

"Danny ... Danny ... look at me," he murmured, and Danny opened his eyes and nailed them into his.

"I love you Danny ..." Steve whispered taking up to move slowly inside him, his hands on the sides of his face.

"I love you Steve ..." Danny said, responding to his thrusts with as many movements of his body.

Never stopped to look into each other eyes. In that moment, both understood to be home at last, finally really together. The sensations they felt were so powerful that they felt overwhelmed and after a few minutes they come at the same time, clinging and trying to stifle the moans of pleasure kissing impetuously.

Then they fell exhausted on the pillows, still tied together. They sought their gazes and smiled, then closed their eyes and, finally, for the first time in a long time, they fell asleep peacefully.

_Have I told you lately that I love you?  
Have I told you there's no one else above you?  
Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness,  
Ease my troubles, that's what you do._

_(Have I told you lately - Van Morrison/ Rod Steward)_


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** **Sadly I don't own them. I wish I did****. I own nothing but I do love this show so very much that I can't stay away.**

**So, this is the last chapter and the end of my story; I want to thank everyone for the review, the follow and the favs: you're awesome and very tolerant with my language mistakes, thank you very much. Now stop with the chatter and go with the story, hope you enjoy.**

**Chapter 11**

It had been over three months since Steve had come home from his mission with the Seals. Things were gradually normalized, now he was better. He had left a big scar on his chest and leg and, at least physically, he was completely healed. The nightmares were, hand to hand, decreased but didn't disappear completely and there were times when Danny saw his gaze lost in space, as if his mind was somewhere else, but not in a nice place.  
However, they returned to their old habits, just like in this moment. They were chasing a suspect, at an impressive speed and Danny, despite the seat belt, was trying not to throw himself across the car, holding on to the door.

"Steve! Slow down! Are you trying to get us killed?" He yelled at one point.

"Be quiet Danny, I have everything under control" he said with a grin and Danny's hands were itching.

"Be quiet he says! How do I feel comfortable if we are risking our lives running after a criminal, even though we know that he is the one..."

He couldn't finish the sentence because Steve had reached the suspect's car and, in a move more or less orthodox and with great screech of brakes, had got out and was stuck behind the car almost if it hadn't yet stopped.  
In a leap he grabbed him by the collar and slammed him to the ground, folding his arms behind his back and putting on the handcuffs. With a triumphant smile, he raised his head, turned to Danny.

"Book 'em Danno!" had told him and Danny couldn't help but shake his head, raising his eyes and hands to the sky and laugh.

**H50 H50 H50**

Once they were back in the office, everyone went into their own rooms to fill out the reports. There was silence because they were alone, Chin and Kono had already left. Steve hated this part of the job, just couldn't stand, so he decided to try again. He went to Danny's office and stopped at the door, knocking on the door frame. Danny looked up and knew immediately what was coming.

"Hey Danny ..." Steve began.

"No" he said.

"No? But if you don't even know what I wanted to ask".

"I know exactly what you want to ask Steven ..."

"And what? Up ahead, tell me ... "

"You want me to write your report," Danny said triumphantly when he saw the expression in Steve's eyes.

"Please ... you know I hate these things ... it's just a waste of time ...".

"Ah, well, then it's my time what is good to waste? Why? Yours is too precious? "

Seeing the warlike aspect that was taking Danny's eyes, Steve did an imaginary step back.

"No, of course not, that's not what I meant ..."

"And what did you mean Steven?"

Damn, it was already the second time he called him Steven and it was a bad sign ... he decided to try his luck and entered the room, went to the desk and sat down, touching Danny's arm with his leg.

"Listen, I'll make you a deal, you write my report and I will do everything you ask, what do you say?" he said smiling in that way that he knew Danny wouldn't resist.

And that's it. Danny couldn't resist when Steve was looking at him in that way. But this time he decided that he would make him pay for this. He stood up and approached him, putting his hands on his knees. Steve spread his legs and he leaned against him.

"All I want? - he asked with a soft voice - Everything?".

And, saying this, he began to rub against him, put a hand behind his head and pulled him gently to himself, starting to leave a trail of kisses on his neck. He put his other hand on Steve's groin, whose breathing suddenly began to be difficult, caressing and kisses him, then passed to small bites that made Steve shiver, and certainly not for the cold. He brought his lips to his and began to kiss him deeply, slowly, as he knew he liked it. Steve was starting to emit faint moans of pleasure when Danny stopped talking, still resting on his lips, stirring their breath.

"So? What do you say? ".

"Yes ... I'll do anything you want ... Danny ...".

"Okay, this time I want that you write your report by yourself" said Danny suddenly breaking away from him, sitting down again and ignoring him on purpose.

Steve stood frozen for a moment, took a deep breath to try to calm the boiling and turned to Danny that, undaunted, was pounding on the keyboard of the pc. He stood up, walked around the desk and stood in front of him, with his hands on his hips.

"You did that on purpose! Right? Admit it. "

Danny looked up at him with an amused look.

"Yes, I just did it on purpose, so you learn what it means when someone tries to take advantage of you! Now go back to your office, please fill out your report and let me work. "

Steve wanted to be angry but he just couldn't because, within himself, he knew that Danny was right. So he turned and went back into his office to try to get that pain out of his ass.

**H50 H50 H50**

That night, at home, they sat on the couch after dinner and washed up, with Steve curled up on Danny, while he absently was stroking his hair. The TV was tuned to a football game, but, in reality, none of them was following the program.

"What are you thinking?" Danny asked at some point.

"I'm thinking to resign from the Navy ..."

Danny's hand froze in midair and looked down at his lover.

"I'm sorry, come again…" he asked in an unsteady voice.

"I want to leave the Navy. Definitively"said Steve sitting up and staring into his eyes, waiting for his reaction.

"Ok, now I understand ... but the Navy is your life Steve, why do you want to do it?"

"Now you are my life Danny, is no longer the Navy" said Steve.

He turned away from him and stood in front of the window to observe the ocean. Danny was silent, knowing that there was something else. After a while Steve continued.

"During this mission I realized that this life is not for me anymore. I believe that I have never been as bad as in those five months away from you, away from it all ... there were times when it seemed that I was going crazy ... I couldn't concentrate as I should ... and I've made mistakes ... with that little girl for example ... I wasn't lucid enough, I had to move her away immediately, perhaps she would still be alive ... I cannot stop thinking that she's dead because of me ... " and silently he's running a hand over his face.

Danny got up and joined him, taking him by the arm and turning towards him.

"Steve, you have to stop mulling over these things. You didn't do anything wrong, you're just a man, with his weaknesses and this is not a fault. "

Steve sighed and took him in his arms.

"I want to quit Danny. I want to quit. The very idea that they can call me again makes me sick. My life is here now, with you, with Grace. This is what I want. The Navy has had enough of me. I never want to leave ... " and saying so, he pulled away from him to stare into his eyes.

"I could not agree more than that," Danny replied, smiling.

He took his hand and together they went out on the beach behind the house to sit on the deck, watching the stars. The night was quiet and the moon lit up the ocean's surface, creating silvery reflections.  
Danny thought he was good there, on that island, on that beach, on that deck, next to the man he loved, with his family. He was happy with Steve's decision, sure enough, he was just thrilled, he wouldn't have to relive those months of anguish. Certainly it wouldn't have been all roses, because their lives were in constant danger, however, given the way in which Steve behaved at work, but at least they risked together. There would have been him watching his back. He turned to Steve, took his hand and the smile he gave him was peaceful and Danny's heart quickened for happiness.  
A sense of peace crept in Steve's mind and he realized that the decision to leave was not a sign of weakness, but of strength, strength that derived from the knowledge of finally being part of something and that something was there, sitting next to him.

End.


End file.
